The Dos and Don'ts of Strip Club Patronage

Posted by: Angelo Nov 20, 2013

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Strip clubs are a great place for supple boobs and taut cabooses, but not the best place for you to show off your individuality by trying too hard. Putting in extra effort at work may get you that VP of Human Resources position you've been gunning for, but getting noticed at the strip club will usually just get you pummeled by a 250-pound bouncer. So act like you've been there before.

Consumption

You know your limit. Your love for whiskey ruined Christmas last year the minute you screamed the "C" word at your mother in-law. Don't ruin this festival of ass for your friends by getting everybody kicked out. Pace yourself on the booze. Drink enough to have a good time and converse casually with the talent. But stop drinking before you get rude. You are always one insult away from a bouncer-sponsored nose job.

Tips

Tip every stripper, every time. This isn't a mariachi band playing for tips on public transportation. These are women putting themselves through college or raising a child as a single mom – at least that's what they tell you. And who are you to question that? You have to pay to see boobs. One dollar will not break the bank, and will keep you off the radar of an angry stripper or bouncer.  

Conversation

Complementing your stripper is a nice thing to do, but they've heard it all before. Instead, talk to the dancer like your friends dragged you to the club and you're not really supposed to be there. Act interested, but not so interested it looks like the strip club provided the only naked chicks you've seen in the past three years.

Keeping these three things in mind will ensure an enjoyable strip-club experience. Now put on some Cool Water cologne and go see some boobs!

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Angelo

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