Cooking Your Way Into Her Pants

Posted by: Angelo Jun 26, 2013

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Chicks dig guys who can cook – but they also dig guys who can’t. It’s complicated, so let me straighten it out for you.

There’s something impressively manly about a guy who knows his way around a kitchen – something of an Gordon Ramsey / Wolfgang Puck sort of vibe that says “This is my domain, and I am in control.”  If you can cook, you’re a man who knows what he wants, and who can take the necessary steps to get it. That’s power – and power is a sure-fire panty dropper.

On the other hand, there’s something girls just love about a guy who wants to cook, but just finds himself fumbling around pots and pans. This is a guy who needs to be cared for – a guy who’s basically just a big kid who can’t get along without his mommy. If you’re completely inept in the kitchen, you’ll trigger her maternal instincts, and maybe open the door to some extremely disturbing role-play later.

It’s important not to be too fussy if you can cook. Think more Executive-chef-meets-short-order-cook, and less frugal-gourmet-meets-sensitive-male-meets-penny-loafers-and-pastel-polo-shirts. Sure, you want everything to come out just right, but there’s a difference between Emeril’s confident “BAM” and the contented sigh that comes from watching candlelight glint off a chilled glass of Chablis. The former says “I’m having you for dessert;” the latter says “I’m going to cry if you don’t like my quiche.” 

When cooking for a date, you’ve got to cook what she likes. Beware the girl who tells you that she loves a good steak: what she means is that she would really like 2 or 3 bites of filet, and then wants you to throw 50 dollars of rare Kobe beef in the trash. The same goes for a girl who boasts about being able to hang with your super-hot chili – she’ll wind up blowing snot and gasping at the dinner table, and leaving before you even get to second base on account of “tummy trouble.”

So what CAN you cook?  Pasta is a no-brainer, but put a little effort in – don’t just pour a jar of Ragu over some spaghetti: take the time to learn how to make sauce from crushed tomatoes, fresh herbs, and extra virgin olive oil, and use the right pasta for the dish: shaped pasta or angel hair for thin sauces, linguini or fettuccini for thick. Fish is another good choice since she won’t feel self-conscious about eating it in front of you, sparing you a night of talking about diets and lying about how fat and bloated she looks after your homemade deep-dish pizza.

But to really get the night going: learn to prep sushi. Women love California, avocado, and crab rolls the way men love kielbasa, beer, and the Steelers. While yes, sushi can be risky since it’s a delicate food that requires careful preparation, the risks are worth the rewards.

Sharpen up the knives, wipe down the stove, and put away the hot dogs: you’re having company!

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Angelo

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