Chump Pump – the Bare Minimum Workout for Any Self-Respecting Guy

Posted by: Georgia Jul 20, 2014


You’d think with this unemployment rate that America would be absolutely packed with shredded Adonis-looking underwear models – after all, more men are finding themselves with LOADS of time on their hands, plus exercise doesn’t cost anything. And yet, along with its 10% plus unemployment, America’s got a 66% obesity rate. It seems like guys would rather mope around their mom’s basements eating Cheetos and complaining that no women will give them the time of day than to do something about any of it.

That’s a good way to land yourself right in the middle of a crippling depression. A crippling, fat, out-of-shape, winded-after-climbing-a-flight-of-stairs depression. Exercise elevates mood, builds strength, and burns fat, and these are all things that will help you get girls, and may even help you find a job. Sure, it’s discrimination, but fit, attractive people get hired faster, and tend to do better at their jobs, than mopey tubs of self-pity.

So how do you get started?  We’ve got a few minimal exercises below that don’t require much special equipment or a gym membership. If you can afford to join a gym, awesome!  If not, you’ll find that while aerobics and calisthenics might not get you all ripped and shredded, they will get you in shape, which is what exercise is really all about.

For your heart, lungs, and waistline, jogging (or if you’re just starting out, brisk walking) are mandatory. They burn hundreds of calories per hour, and strengthen your legs and back all while helping your cardiovascular system to work more efficiently. Shoot for 30 minutes per day.

For your upper body, you can build and strengthen muscle with the simple triumvirate of pushups, pull-ups, and dips. Throw some crunches into the mix and you’ll be working every muscle in your body in concert. Do 3 sets of 10, and change things up – try reverse crunches, wide-grip pull-ups, peanut rolls, anything to shock and surprise your muscles into maximum performance.

Most of what you see at the gym is actually pretty specialized equipment, and if you’re taking your fitness regimen to the next level, good for you, but the bottom line is that every guy needs at least 30 minutes of exercise per day to keep from getting flabby, weak, and out-of-shape. The USDA and CDC say that you need 2 hours 30 minutes of moderate activity, or 75 minutes of intense activity every week, so split the difference with moderate-to-intense exercise and see what a difference exercise can make in your body image and mood!



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