If fantasy football drafts were based solely around a bunch of guys getting together to pick a fake football team, they wouldn’t exist. Your draft needs appeal. And you can achieve this by following these rules.
Rule 1: Location, location, location
The basement of your married friend’s house is a great place for sneaking a couple beers during Easter dinner, but it’s certainly not optimal for a bro bash. And you don’t want someone barking at drafters because your friends want to smoke a Macanudo, so pick a spot with the least amount of restrictions. (Think single friends with big apartments.)
Rule 2: Drink
Deviate from the norm. Moms and 15-year-olds drink Miller Lite, you shouldn’t. Buy some local IPAs (India Pale Ales), Lagers (Pilsner Urquell, for example) and stouts (Guinness). Also offer a selection of booze: Vodka and Bourbon are your staples. If your friends require mixers beyond club soda, get new friends.
Rule 3: Food
None of your friends care that you “make the best guacamole” in your neighborhood. You are trying to feed your friends, not sleep with them. Keep it simple. Order pizza, sandwiches and wings from a local pizza place. Pappa John’s, Pizza Hut and Dominos NEED NOT APPLY.
Rule 4: Entertainment
At the very least, your party should have something playing on a TV that is no smaller than 42 inches. A football movie classic works nicely here: “We Are Marshall”, “Friday Night Lights”, “Any Given Sunday”, etc. If you want to mix things up a little bit, hire a couple of strippers (CAUTION: Strippers could really slow down your draft pace and require you to remove the locks from your bathroom doors – spankers not welcome.)
Rule 5: Time Limits
Time limit your picks! Nothing can ruin the fun of getting drunk with your friends like a slow-poke drafter, gumming up the works and delaying what you all got together for in the first place – the post-draft strip club run. Make someone (the commissioner) responsible for timing everyone’s picks. Two minutes is reasonable.
When all is said and done, if you can abide by at least three out of five of these rules, your fantasy draft will be the envy of all your friends.